Proverbs on Arguing

I can't remember who it was that suggested it but I started reading the Proverbs chapter for that day a few months ago. Today is October 19th, so I read Proverbs chapter 19, you get the idea. I normally read to the boys (5 and 7) before they go to sleep at night and about a week ago I didn't have a book. So, I grabbed my son's Bible and read the Proverbs of the day for them before bed. It was so great, that even if I have a book to read them now we read the Proverbs first.

The thing that we have been dealing the most with lately is the boys arguing with each other. Yes, they are young and they are brothers and they will fight and argue. However, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't correct the behavior and live in a home with no peace. Isn't it amazing what happens when you are consistently reading God's word! This week has been really bad with the arguing and check out some of the verses that jumped off the page to us from Proverbs 17 and 18 below. These are taken from the New International Reader's Version (NIrV) which is great for kids. I hope that these verses may be an encouragement/challenge to you also.

• Proverbs 17:14 “Starting to argue is like making a crack in a dam. So drop the matter before a fight breaks out.”
• Proverbs 17:19 “The one who loves to argue loves to sin.”
• Proverbs 17:27 “Anyone who has knowledge controls his words. A man who has understanding is not easily upset.”
• Proverbs 18:6 “What a foolish person says leads to arguing. He is just asking for a beating.” ("beating" is pretty harsh!)
• Proverbs 18:13 “To answer before listening is foolish and shameful.” We have talked a lot about listen before you speak and this was great confirmation.
• Proverbs 18:21 “Your tongue has the power of life and death.” We had a good discussion on speech that brings life (like encouragement, compliments, thank you, and "I love you" ) and death (being rude, name calling and cut downs, arguing, yelling at each other, etc.).

Notes from a championship team

Fantasy baseball this year was fun! Winning is always fun but it was also great to get to know a different group of people. I was asked to join an already established league of mostly people from the northeast (New York, Baltimore, and that region).

Cheesehead's Awards:
* Best Closer: K-Rod (Francisco Rodriguez) – LAA (Papelbon runner-up)
* Best Power Hitter: Ortiz – Bos (Berkman and Hafner runner-ups)
* Best Early Season pickup: Jonathan Papelbon – Bos (April 11)
* Best Mid-Season pickup: Jered Weaver – LAA (June 12)
* Best Late Season pickup: Frank Thomas – Oak (when he got hot and Hafner went on the DL)
* Best Trade Bait: Chris Shelton – Det, when he was hot I got Zambrano and BJ Ryan for him and Guardado (traded on April 20th). Zambrano and Ryan went on to be premier players for me and Shelton and Guardado dropped off the face of the earth after the trade!
* Most elusive stat: Holds – I scrambled for those all year.
* Most volatile position: Relief Pitchers (see “Most elusive stat” above) and Shortstop (Peralta, Furcal, Glaus, and Hanley Ramirez all played there for me).
* Biggest Risk: Picking up Clemens early and taking up an important roster spot for so long with no production.
* Best move I didn’t make but should have: Picking up Scot Shields one day earlier. I decided not to pick him up on one day and changed my mind the next day. When I went to grab him another picked him up and kept him all year.

General notes:

• All of my positions had a player in the top 5 final rankings.
• I squeaked by in the Starting Pitcher department. Zambrano was the #5 starting pitcher in the final rankings. Schilling was out of the top 10 and Zito rounded out my best three on down the list.
• I was too loyal to Pudge (could have upgraded him in July or August) and Mark Buehrle. I’m not kicking myself for keeping Dontrelle Willis all year – it’s tough to give up a 22 game winner with an ERA under 3 from the year before.
• I had 7 players in the top 20 final overall rankings for our league – Ortiz (7), Berkman(11), Utley(13), Papelbon(14), Guerrero(16), A-Rod(18), Crawford(20).

Mamaw's back home

Thank you for your prayers and concern for my grandmother. She has recovered well from her incident and is now back in her retirement home. We did have to move her to the “assisted” level of care instead of “independent” but the transition was smooth.

Her facility is around 80% independent seniors and 20% residents who need some sort of help. She had to change rooms since her old room did not have the proper alarm systems that are needed but that turned out to be a blessing. Her new room is just down the hall and around a corner so it wasn’t difficult for my Mom and me to move her on our own. Her new room is in better shape, has a much better view, better sunlight on the windows, and a better area to entertain the kids down the hall if needed.

She is now getting assistance mainly with them administering her medications but also checking on her periodically (especially at night) and being available to assist her with a few other things if it’s ever needed. My Mom and I have also taken a more active role in helping her keep her finances straight and things of that nature since her cognitive ability has suffered some lately.

We are very thankful that this specific event did not result in more long-term or serious consequences. We are also thankful that it made it clear that we needed to take steps to minimize the risk that future “events” will result in serious consequences.

Make it obvious!

It seems like everywhere I drive lately in Dallas there is construction going on. Yesterday, on my way back to the office from lunch I got some dirty looks from some construction workers as I drove by a job site. When they started yelling, I looked over and saw a worker over by the side of the road with a stop sign and I realized that they expected me to stop! Since I was already well on my way through their zone and there wasn’t anything going on that I could tell, I just kept going and cleared the way for them. I started thinking about what I did wrong and what lesson I should learn from it.

Replaying the scene, I realized that there was a normal stop sign on the corner (that I stopped at) before entering the construction zone. I did my normal looking around to make sure no one was coming and I did take note of the construction going on. I realized too late that the worker standing on the side of the road had a stop sign pointing toward me and that he expected me to heed the sign. He wasn’t in the middle of the road (but right by the curb), he wasn’t holding the sign (it was resting on the ground), he wasn’t waving the sign, and he wasn’t doing anything else to get my attention until it was too late. I understood that I really had not done anything wrong. If they really wanted me to stop, they should have taken action that caused me to notice.

After this thought process, it occurred to me that this experience had application on the Web – make it obvious. As one very good and simple book that I would recommend on Web usability states clearly in it’s title Don’t Make Me Think (by Steve Krug, currently in its second edition)! If you want me to take a specific action or do something that’s important on your site, then make it obvious and don’t make me have to scan the whole page carefully and over-analyze my options. Put a call to action in “the middle of the road” which on the Web is 1.) in the middle of the page, 2.) the upper-most section (the masthead), or 3.) the right-hand column. Also, make it clear what is needed from the user – do I need to just click, enter some information, etc.

Root cause analysis

Well, after running every test imaginable on her heart and head the good news is that everything is normal! The bad news is that we still have no idea what is causing these fainting spells and the mental after-effects. I feel like we keep mopping up the water but we never can find the pipe that's leaking! If we could just find the leak then we may be able to define a plan to either correct it or mitigate it.

This feels like a faith-building exercise but that is one thing that I haven't prayed for lately. During the first few days of this, Tuesday and Wednesday, I didn't make the time for my Bible study and prayer. Since then, I realized that I really needed to make the time and the effect has been dramatic in my own heart and mind.

We're having to make some decisions about how best to proceed and it looks likely that she will move from an "independent living" situation to an "assisted living" situation within her retirement home. The ability for her home to offer both situations in one facility was a key when we selected it. Now, years later, it looks like it's time to utilize that availability.

Nurses make all the difference

Mamaw had a C/T scan, an MRI, an echo- of her heart, and a sono- of her carotid arteries. We're still waiting to hear the results of these tests and we are hoping that tomorrow will be a very educational day.

One interesting item of note is that her symptoms that led to an early diagnosis of stroke are improving. That said, her cognitive ability is still lacking. We are now just waiting and praying. I’ll post more when we know more.

My wife and I learned one thing that has stuck with us and it was reinforced strongly today -- nurses are highly under-rated! Every hospital stay, ER visit, and major doctor appointment just reinforces that belief. We had a nurse in training today and she did all of the basic things correctly but her "bedside manner" and professionalism were greatly lacking. The quality of the nursing makes the biggest difference in any hospital visit and nurses are the defining group in a hospital.

A prime example of this is in childbirth, you may be in the labor room for hours and hours but the OB is likely only in the room with you for 1-2 hours tops. I don’t mean by this to minimize the doctors input or importance (especially you Tim!) but merely to underscore the point that nurses are generally not given their due respect and place in this world.

One very special lady

My Mamaw (my mom's mom) has had a very rough few weeks. After a week of being more tired than usual and saying that she didn't feel like she was getting enough oxygen (she has asthma), she had two "fainting spells" this week. As I write this, I am sitting in the hospital watching over her. The doctor thinks that maybe she had a stroke since her mental capacity is diminished and she is tending to favor her right side. Further tests tomorrow will hopefully confirm or deny that diagnosis and give us a treatment plan. I sure love this lady and I am praying that this isn't a major hurdle for her.

Mamaw is 89 years young and a very independent lady. She lives in a retirement community near us and I am her primary care-giver. I am a part of those "sandwich" people who are raising kids and caring for parents/grandparents at the same time. We have been blessed that Mamaw's health has been very stable. She is in the "independent living" section of her community and doesn't need consistent help. We get her out of the retirement home on a pretty regular basis and it's great to see the kids love on her and see her love on them. It makes me very thankful that they will remember their Mamaw and how much she loves them even when they are grown and Mamaw is gone.

Her health challenges have mounted lately. She has made it successfully through a broken hip and a broken arm over the past few years and has suffered from these "fainting spells" since before those incidents. Mamaw has a wonderful spirit, is very active in caring for her health, and is truly a positive personality. The night that she broken her hip, she asked the doctor when he could fix her because "I'm tired of just sittin' in this bed" (after only 15 hours!). The physical therapist's loved working with her and several times they had to remind her to stop exercising so much or her muscles would be too sore. At her age, sometimes a broken hip can be the beginning of the end but she has really done quite well recovering. In the last year, she is often seen walking the halls of their retirement home after breakfast for exercise and that really keeps her going strong.

My wife and I are preparing to lead a Bible study on stress in marriage. Part of that study is a reminder that sometimes good things can also come from stress. One good thing that is a result of my current stress is that I have realized again how much I am thankful and grateful for my grandmother! It's so easy for me to take advantage of still having her around to love on me and my family! I take her for granted just like I take many wonderful things for granted (the ability to worship openly, the ability to live each day without fear of voilence to me or my family, the ability to take a hot shower, etc.). I am thankful that:

• she loves to read to my kids.
• she loves to spend time with us (even when all three kiddos are going bonkers and other people would run away).
• she can still tell me stories about when she was a little girl and about me when I was a boy (even though I may hear the same story over and over).
• she covers our family in prayer.
• she encourages our parenting on a regular basis and tells us how well we're doing.
• she sees qualities in our kids that we sometimes miss.
• she is always there with a good hug.
• she has a sweet smile and is such a welcoming person to everyone.
• she is genuinely happy to see us whenever we walk into her room (even if its unannounced and we're interupting her favorite tv show).
• she knows what is important and encourages me to focus on the important not the trivial.
• she helped to raise me to be the man/husband/father/believer that I am today.
• she hasn't stopped raising me.
• she inspired the name for my son Cooper (her maiden name) because of her tremendous impact on me.
• she continues to be an awesome blessing to me, my family, and many others.
• she can make me cry just by typing out this list.
• I can still type without having to see through the tears because my mom made me take a typing class in high school (that I refused to take until I realized how many girls were in the class).

Hopefully tomorrow we will have some answers. I want to learn if this a stroke or not and if they can find anything really wrong with her this time. We have been in the hospital before after these "fainting spells" but nothing has ever been found to definitively be the cause. She has never exhibited these qualities that are symptomatic of a stoke though so we'll just have to wait and see.

Kids Money Sense

This was a great article that I received via e-mail from the Motley Fool. I could not find it on their Web site, so I have copied it in it's entirety here (so as not to violate their rights). Our own family has adopted many of the ideas expressed here like the piggy bank with several different sections, not paying for basic chores, and letting them help us make change or pay for things themselves.

Give Your Kids Money Sense: Preschool & Elementary
By Elizabeth Brokamp

Few parents who've seen the classic Staples back-to-school ad can forget it. It's the one with the parents dancing around with "It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" playing in the background as their kids glumly shop for school supplies. It strikes a chord with all of us parents fatigued by a three-month stint of quality time with inquiring little minds. Finally, someone else will be around to answer all of little Johnny's questions.

But while our children's teachers will again share responsibility for teaching them to read and write, they won't do much to help our children develop basic financial literacy skills. Beyond simple addition and subtraction, there just isn't enough time in the school day to do it all.

So what's a caring and Foolish parent to do? Take your child's money-management education into your own hands, of course. Here's how.

It's important to remember how your kids think when it comes to money (or anything else). Most children are concrete thinkers who can demonstrate progressively organized and logical thought but have a limited ability to think abstractly. Translation: Preschool and elementary-aged kids will have trouble understanding abstract concepts like inflation, interest rates, and saving for a college education that is 12 years away.

That's why, when I told my 5-year-old that we couldn't buy the carnival-sized moon bounce at Costco because "we don't have enough money," he was worried that we wouldn't be able to buy food for dinner. To him, "no money" meant, quite literally, that our pockets were empty. I should have said, "We choose not to spend money on that so we have enough money for other things we need to buy."

Understanding the way your child thinks is the key to providing him or her with a quality education in money management. Here are some ways to help your literal thinker learn about money:

* Buy your preschooler a piggy bank and give him or her a stack of coins to put in it. Ask your child to sort the coins in a variety of different ways -- shiny versus dull, big versus little, pennies versus quarters. Know that he or she won't understand for many years that a dime (i.e., the smallest coin) is worth more than a nickel, because to your child, bigger means better. Supervise carefully, though, since preschoolers sometimes still like to test things in their mouths!

* Establish an allowance for your child so he or she can begin to make independent money decisions. Some folks will advocate linking the allowance to certain chores; I prefer establishing the basic chores (e.g., making the bed, cleaning your room, and setting the table) as something each person does because they are a cooperative part of a family. Otherwise, kids can tend to become hardened money-grubbers, countering a request to put their dishes in the sink with, "How much is it worth to you?" However, giving your child "extra" tasks (like washing windows or vacuuming) for which he or she can earn money can teach her the satisfaction that comes from working for a goal. Your child will also understand that the more work that's done, the more quarters he or she earns -- a valuable life lesson.

* Get your older child a specialized bank like the "Money-Savvy Pig," (educational activity book in PDF format) which has compartments for saving, spending, donating, and investing. Discussing the different ways you can choose to allocate your money will mean more when your child can see his or her allowance divvied up in four ways. (We use the My Giving Bank for our kids. Other resources for banks can be found in this Kiplinger's article.)

* Take your child on money-related "field trips" that show money in action. While places like the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in Washington, D.C., offer splashy tours and the opportunity to see how money is designed and printed, your local bank and grocery store can offer just as many teachable moments when it comes to money. Opening a savings account, touring a bank vault, using the coin-counting machine, comparing sticker prices, and paying for items and receiving change are a few everyday ways to learn about money.

* Encourage your child when he or she tries entrepreneurial ventures like lemonade stands, picking up sticks for the neighbors, or starting a dog-walking service. There's no substitute for learning on the job.

* Let your mouse do the walking. There are a host of wonderful websites (mostly geared for upper elementary students) that can help you teach your child about money management. Here are some: The U.S. Mint's Kids' Page. The U.S. Treasury's Resources for Kids. The PBS series Cyberchase.

For even more info, check out the JumpStart Coalition's list of resources.

Last, but not least, be mindful of how you talk about money. Do you complain about bills, fret about money, and always use negative terms about finances? Don't be surprised, then, if your sons and daughters feel negatively, too. If you need some financial refreshing of your own, make full use of your Motley Fool GreenLight subscription. Getting yourself on the right financial track is the best lesson of all for your kids.

So, parents, rejoice that it's back-to-school season, but remember that some lessons still start in the home. Managing money wisely is one of them.

This article is adapted from the Motley Fool GreenLight "Money Answers" archive, which features more than 100 articles on personal-finance topics from taxes to credit to beginning investing, organized by subject and life stage. For access to this content plus the current newsletter, back issues, members-only discussion boards, and advisor blogs, take a free 30-day trial to GreenLight today!

Fool contributor Elizabeth Brokamp writes a weekly column, "Ask Mrs. Riches," on money and relationships. Her charming other half is The Motley Fool's own Robert Brokamp (TMF Bro), editor of Rule Your Retirement.

Church Web sites are Broken

I found an interesting item on one of my favorite blogs -- Church Marketing Sucks (or Stinks, if you prefer). They ran a survey that simply asked the question "What's broken in your church?" and left an empty box for responses.

Aside from the basic "some of our windows are broken" answer, guess what got the most responses? The church Web site with 21% of the people who responded! Now obviously, the survey was strictly online and the site is used by people who care about church communications. So, it's a biased survey but still very interesting.

What can little ole me do to help the church body to improve in this area that's broken? Well, for starters the session that I've been asked to lead at the Church Leadership Conference is a start. I wonder if there is more that I can do?

In case you missed the above link, read the full discription of "What's broken?" from Church Marketing Sucks.

Godin on God

Seth Godin, interactive marketer, posts his thoughts about religions that spread (or don't) and the concept of ideaviruses. This is interesting to consider from an objective/secular perspective.